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When my husband and I have finished a restaurant meal and the server attempts to hand my husband the check, he has a standard response as he gestures toward me: “Please give it to the Vice President of Finance.”
My husband is perfectly capable of reviewing the bill, calculating a tip, and pulling out a credit card. But for whatever reason, I just do it. And although hubby is our tax preparer, I’m the person in charge of our family finances as in paying the bills, reviewing medical statement charges, and balancing the checkbook.
According to an article in financial advisor Ric Edelman’s Inside Personal Finance, that puts me in the minority. Citing a study by the Journal of Consumer Research, Ric says, “The partner who has been responsible for the household finances has kept current with the family’s finances. He—it’s almost always the husband, according to the study—has continually expanded his knowledge about personal finance, because he’s constantly dealing with these issues. Meanwhile, the wife’s financial literacy stagnates. And the longer they are married, the greater this gap grows.”
This is a problem when the “financial” spouse dies or becomes incapacitated. Because along with grieving, the survivor may not be aware of how or when to pay the bills.
I became aware of the issue of financial illiteracy a couple of decades ago when I was a member of the Business and Professional Women. We held financial classes in the basics such as balancing a checkbook. It was amazing how many working women didn’t know how to do this because their spouses handled it.
Of course, online banking and bill paying have made this easier IF you are computer literate. For those who are not, I imagine that suddenly having to take on learning about and understanding the computer and the household financial management at the same time might be downright terrifying.
I’ve made it super easy for my husband to step in should something happen to me. All financial obligations are maintained on a spreadsheet, and each one is paid online except my annual trash collection expense. Categories are divided into pay monthly / quarterly / annually, and they’re set up in order of the due date. Most of the expenses are set to autopay; those few that don’t carry that option are highlighted to pay manually online. The websites are noted along with the user ID and the unique 12+ character passwords. (NOTE: If you use the same password for all of your accounts, please take the time to change that. And don’t make your password PASSWORD or 1password or something similar. You’re not a lazy person so why be lazy about your passwords?)
The bottom of the spreadsheet contains information on our mortgage and car loan so that all the pertinent information is immediately available such as interest rate, the original amount of loan, and the current balance.
As Jack Reacher says, “Hope for the best, plan for the worst.” Our adult daughter is aware of how to access all this same information should something happen to both her parents.
I encourage you to take the steps to make sure your financial matters can be handled easily when someone else needs to step in. If your spouse handles the responsibility, learn about it now. If your parents are living, talk to them about this topic. Should you have adult children, pass along the wisdom of being financially literate.
It’s never too soon to be smart about money. But it can be too late.
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Journal of Consumer Research information
I wonder what part of the country the study was done that showed mostly men are the ones who take care of the finances because I can tell you in my “neck of the woods” it seems to be the women who do that job. Even with my parents, who have been gone for 25 years now, it was my mother who took care of all that. However, my father was completely capable and did so when my mother’s illness no longer let her be able to handle that job. Obviously, though, financial matters were much less complicated all those years ago. I am unaware of anyone I am associated with whose “man” does the financial accounting in their home, although I am sure there are a few here. But, like Norma, I have made it very easy for my husband to take over those chores should the need arise.
I guess it doesn’t matter which partner takes care of the finances as long as the other partner is aware of everything and can step in. I have a friend whose husband had a stroke 20 years ago, and he had always handled them himself. So on top of the tragedy, she was clueless about what to do.
I agree with Betsy however it may just be the type of friends we relate to? All of my female friends are independent, strong women… I also read about creating an online “Executor folder” where that excel sheet would be, along with an electronic copy of all the other documents that, we know, our children would look for during the panic that would follow our death. I am working on it…