We weren’t always best friends. Casual friends at a regional high school, yes, but we lived half an hour apart and didn’t hang with the same crowd. Betsy and I were in our mid 20s when we forged a bond that has lasted (gasp, I cannot possibly be that old!) forty years.
Some time ago there was a Hallmark commercial that featured two women, obviously long-time friends. One had remained in the town where she grew up and was a stay-at-home mom. The other one left for the “big city” and had a career. But despite the differences (and presumably because they kept up with each other via Hallmark cards), they remained friends.
I recall Betsy saying that commercial reminded her of our friendship. She lives within spitting distance of her childhood home, while I’m a couple hundred miles away from my hometown. .
We’re not very much alike really. But we share the same core values, and just as in a successful marriage, that is a key aspect of a lasting friendship. When I have fantastic news, Betsy is among the first four people I call. When I have heart-breaking news, she’s on that same short list.
We know we can gripe about an issue without expecting the other one to come up with solutions. Sometimes it helps just to say annoyances out loud and then move on.
Both of us wanted to be moms at an early age. But we were late bloomers. At the age of 33, we ended up having our girls within about two weeks of each other.
You know the adage, “A friend is someone who accepts you just as you are”? Well, what kind of friend is that? Instead, Betsy encourages me to take chances and make changes.
In this age of social media and ordinary people having dozens or even hundreds of “friends” or “followers,” it’s good for us pause and consider what the word friend really means.
So as your birthday approaches, Betsy, thanks for being my Best Friend Forever. Really. I do mean it!
Dear Readers: Share a story about your best friend.
I met my best friend, Ana Maria, in February 1983 in Sonseca. Spain when we got stationed at a remote Air Force site 2 & 1/2 hrs south of Torrejon Air Base (Madrid). However, Ana Mari was not an American military wife as I was, but a Spanish national who didn’t speak a word of English! She introduced herself to me because she & her husband also had 2 young daughters, as we did. Fortunately, I’d had 2 years of high school Spanish (100 years prior!) so I was able to understand her. They lived right around the corner from our house and our girls were at their house as much as they were at ours. Ana Mari would speak to me with simple vocabulary, in ways I could understand. It was an immediate friendship; she was a blessing to me. We were stationed there for only 2 years but after we returned to the states we were able to continue to communicate via Spanish translation on the computer. I had not seen my dear friend from 1985 until 2008, when her family took a trip to New York City and we met them there. Since then, I have traveled to Spain to visit them twice. Our friendship is a s strong as it was many years ago. Unfortunately we also share the grief of each of us losing a daughter. The miles/ kilometers between us is not a deterrence. This only goes to prove that a mother’s grief and also the love of family and friends is the same, no matter what language.
Hi Joan, I’m glad you shared the story of this oh-so-special friendship. Love knows no barriers!
Yes, Norma, it’s unbelievable how many years have passed since our friendship was forged, with many Hallmark and other cards going back and forth between us over all of those years. Thanks for the one I received in the mail a couple of days ago and for your birthday wishes to me in this blog. Oh my, am I really that old now?!
I was so happy to be on the receiving end of your most recent fantastic news. That’s how it is and has been throughout our many years of friendship – sharing the ups and downs of our lives. In a matter of days we will be together making more memories, something I am looking forward to and I know you are also.
And that picture from our much younger years brings back so many of the memories we’ve created together … even including “the Dog from hell!” Dog was such a bad boy, but we loved him anyway for his 17 years of life just as we shall always love each other. I’m so glad we are Best Friends Forever!!!
Yes, we were younger, thinner, and had longer hair in the 70s…but we’re even better now!