The magazine article was about a mom around my age who was trying to convince her 30-something daughter to take Great-Grandma’s set of good china that had been packed away in the attic for twenty years. Daughter wasn’t interested; Mom tried to guilt her into taking it.
It’s part of your heritage.
The daughter responded with something close to, “Mom, it’s been in your attic for twenty years, and before that in Grandma’s basement for fifteen years, ever since Great-Grandma died. I’ve never seen it, let alone had dinner served on it. I have no memories tied to it. So it’s nothing to me.”
Sometimes I feel like that Mom as I try to downsize my belongings. Why aren’t family members interested in having all this stuff?!
I don’t have any kitchen-related heirlooms packed away in an attic or basement. But I do have some in a cabinet that’s inaccessible without a stepstool. So they may as well be in an attic since they are out of sight and out of mind. They haven’t been used in a long time.
I myself have no memory of using the glasses and dishes at either of my grandmothers’ homes. People of that generation and prior SAVED the good stuff. The question begs to be asked: Saved for what? Or whom? Because it wasn’t as if either set of grandparents ran in affluent social circles or had elaborate dinner parties. I think the good stuff was saved to be passed down so someone else could save them to pass along again.
Recalling that article, I realized I needed to create memories with the heirlooms. That way, in forty years as friends and family gather to celebrate my life after my funeral, someone in the family will say, “Oh yes! I remember how pretty these glasses looked on Norma’s dinner table. Of course I’d LOVE to have them! Thank you for asking.”
So at today’s family get-together at my home, Grandmother Vera’s gold-rimmed glassed will be part of the table setting. Who cares that they are NOT dishwasher-safe, and so will need to be hand-washed. Not I, surely, since I’m not on dish detail today!
So here’s my advice: Quit saving dishes and related items for ultra-special occasions. Use them NOW in your daily life. It’s a scientific fact that food tastes better when it’s served on beautiful plates. OK, I made that up, but I say it all the time to my husband when he pulls out a paper plate for his sandwich.
Set a beautiful table, even if you’re having leftovers. Even if you’re eating alone.
Create a memory today.
To my readers: Tell us what’s going on your table tonight.
Well, not much is going on my table tonight, but tomorrow I am having some family members for dinner. I am making my “world famous” baby-back pork ribs. (Well, probably not world famous, as this is only my second attempt.) Anyway, Norma, I promise to use the butter dish that was my mother-in-law’s, serving spoons that were Grandma Vera’s, and serving bowls belonging to Grandma Elizabeth. I have many other kitchen items that I use (not for my dinner table) frequently – the cookie sheet that our Mother used to bake her chocolate chip cookies (I don’t think I could use another one), the set of club aluminum pots and pans that were my mother-in-law’s, and Dad’s old potato masher and potato slicer, to name a few. Good reminder/advice – thanks!
And I wore YOUR mother-in-law Olive’s green apron last week, as I placed on my table some decoration-only white lace place mats that my mother-in-law Rosalie had bought me. Good memories.
I began giving “STUFF” away a couple of years ago. Some to NJ relatives (50+ years of age) who were moving into their first apartment. Denis has been blind since about 12 yrs old, and his sister Mary doesn’t see well enough to drive. Good people — hard life. They welcomed most things, especially some serving platters and a Stiffel lamp.
We have a large home, and have accumulated much in the way of Christmas decor, including an assortment of Byer Dolls with appropriate furnishings. Several years ago I took about 90% of the collection and donated it to a school bazaar, raising funds to support tuition funding. I gave my kid sister ? some Longaberger baskets, and recently gave away a baby crib and jogging stroller as our grandkids from Minnesota have outgrown need of them.
We used to entertain a great deal, and have accumulated quite an array of wine glasses, many of which need to find a new home. I recently read an article in the Washington Post about organizations that will take a variety of items, including wine glasses, unless your followers would like some. ?
We have a lovely everyday china service for 12, which we’ll leave for the family (young friends) who will buy our home next July when we move. Then we’ll take the two sets (each service for six) of good china to our new home for everyday use.
So much STUFF accumulated over the years. Our two daughters are interested in some of our lamps and paintings, and maybe some small side tables. Fortunately the new buyers have said we can leave anything we’re not planning on taking. They proudly state they have never purchased a piece of furniture!!! It will be a blessing not to worry about finding homes for all the STUFF we aren’t taking. Our 80 year old friend and cleaning helper would like one of our cars! We’ll see.
While we have loved and enjoyed much of our STUFF over the years, it’s good to remember that it really belongs to God in His goodness, and it’s OK to thank Him and the STUFF as we bid farewell to these items.
It certainly feels great to find new homes for these things we once enjoyed. I would rather give away than throw away. It sounds as though you have found many good outlets!