folding-of-the-flag

In the past year, I’ve been to two military funerals for family members.

A military funeral service is steeped in ceremony. In this time of grief and uncertainty, there is something calming about the precision of the actions taking place before us. We may be anxious about how we will function without our loved ones in our lives, but for now, for these moments, life again seems under control.

The folding of the flag brings forth deep emotion. Watching the flag being held tightly by the edges and then being folded and turned, folded and turned, folded and turned, is like visually absorbing the most moving silent dance you’ve ever seen.

Folded and turned. In the midst of grief, we may feel as though we too are folded…bent over and inward to protect ourselves against the onslaught of emotions, hiding from the new reality where one we love is no longer part of our physical realm.

We may fold up into a smaller version of ourselves, hoping people will stop noticing us and so leave us alone to be consumed into our profound sense of loss. Some of us may stay folded for a long time.

Folded and turned. Remaining folded may seem easier. But it’s my belief that we were made to turn back to life. And often the process of turning is helped along by others, sometimes purposefully and sometimes inadvertently.

I have two friends who lost their sons when the boys were 24. But when their boys died, my friends were also raising their grandchildren. Those grandchildren helped turn my friends back to the living. One friend put it this way: “I didn’t have the luxury of staying within myself and my own grief. I had to get up and fix breakfast and pack lunches for two little kids.”

When my own son Tim died eight years ago, my profound faith in a loving God was my lifeline. And my sisters and my daughter made sure I held on so I could be turned back to shore.

One of my favorite Bible passages is from Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3. The passage is likely familiar to many people, although not everyone may realize it’s from the Bible.

Folk singer Pete Seeger took the words from the first eight verses, added six more words to the end, another word to be repeated throughout, and set them to music. The Byrds, a folk-rock band from the 60s, turned the song into a #1 hit in December 1965.

The word that is repeated? Turn. As in, “To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn). And a time to every purpose under Heaven.”

You may be in a season of being folded as you’re reading this. My prayer is that someone will touch your life, your heart, so that you may begin to turn, turn, turn back to a season of life.

And to all of us, I pray we may be mindful of those openings where we can be messengers of light and hope to someone who needs us.

Here’s a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn

To my readers: What does turning mean to you?