Photo by Norma Thatcher
When new friends see a photo of my daughter for the first time, a typical response is, “Oh my gosh, she’s beautiful.”
Yes, she is. Yet that’s due to a fortunate melding of good genes and nothing I did or didn’t do on purpose.
Because I try to avoid superficiality, I usually reply, “Yes, she IS beautiful—both inside and out.” That my daughter is a caring, generous, thoughtful, and accepting person is her true measure as a person.
The Andy Griffith Show (1960-1968) was about a small-town sheriff and his bumbling deputy Barney Fife. One episode had them trying to fix up a visiting plain-Jane cousin of Barney’s girlfriend with Gomer the mechanic. Gomer kept asking, “Is she pretty?” Andy and Barney answered, “She’s nice…real nice.”
On a subsequent query about her looks, they agreed, “She’s sweet. And kind. And she’s smart.” And oh yes, “She’s real nice.” They successfully avoided answering the question about Mary Grace’s looks. Here is that clip.
Likewise, when the cousin was trying to convince Mary Grace to go to the dance with Gomer, the response of what he looked like was answered, “He’s tall. And he’s dark.” But the answer to the question of, “Is he handsome too?” was simply, “And he’s a good dancer.”
All that mattered to the would-be dates was whether or not the other was gorgeous on the outside. As it turned out, they really hit it off and forgot about what had been their primary concern.
Sometimes I think we’ve come a long way as a society about accepting less-than-perfect ideals of bodies and looks. I adored that that magazine Men’s Health chose veteran and double amputee Noah Galloway as their 2014 “Ultimate Guy.”
And I find great inspiration in Lizzie Velasquez (once cyberbullied by being referred to as “the ugliest woman in the world”) and her 2013 TEDx talk on How Do You Define Yourself?
So the next time you pass a mirror and think a negative thought about who is looking back at you, don’t obsess about it. Consider just how gorgeous you are on the inside.
And I have no doubt that you are nice. Real nice.
Norma:
None of us should be surprised, since “Beauty” runs throughout the family!!! Tee hee. As Pastor Jackson used to say: “I’m so humble, I’m proud of it”!!!
Bill
Why do we think of the same things at the same time? 🙂 I was recently lost in a conversation with myself about how important it can be sometimes to “pass the surface test.” For those like me who live and breathe in the world of “special,” we know that people with disabilities are the most non-judgmental people on Earth. They embrace others as they are, almost as a Godly reaction for being rejected all the time. When you are exposed to their endless kindless, you tend to embrace more, not as much as they do, but still more. Then the “rest of the world” seems a little tougher, I have become a little more “tender.” Humbly enough, I recently failed one of those surface tests, and was not prepared: it caused me a bit of pain every time I thought about it afterwards. Then I realized that as long as you approach others with kind and loving intentions in your heart, it is THEIR problem if they choose to reject you on less meaningful grounds such as your looks, your age, or the goofy things that you did or said during the encounter. I sure would not want to be short-sighted, and will gladly keep my rosy glasses on!
I enjoy how your phrasing is so melodic. I agree about the endless kindness that radiates from those with disabilities. If we could all emulate them, the world would be a better place.