If you’re new to an industry or group, the first meeting can feel intimidating. It seems as though everyone else knows, well, everyone else. Many of us are nervous about working our way through the room. Sincerely working a room is more than learning effective ways to hand out business cards and remembering names.
Most of us have attended an event, either business or social, where a person has held others captive in a conversation for so long that we feel we can’t gracefully break away. It’s as though we’re trying to merge back onto the main highway of the event and join others, but there’s such a steady stream of cars/words bearing down that we’re stuck.
This type of conversation hostage-taker can segue one topic about themselves into another. It’s as though they don’t get the old joke: “Well, look at how long I’ve been going on! Enough about me. What do YOU think about me?”
My friend and former mentor Jeff Patnaude (http://www.patnaude.com/the-golden-apple/) smiles broadly when he shares the wisdom of, “You can be interesting or interested. Which one is a better choice?” I use that as the cornerstone of how to sincerely work a room.
I look for someone standing alone, as though they have been left out. Introducing myself brings about their introduction which is the opening of a conversation about them, not me. Ask open-ended questions such as, “How did you get your start with the company?” “What are the most interesting aspects of being a (job title)?” “What’s the most fascinating story you can share about your company?” These open-ended questions produce thought-provoking responses, and are so much more stimulating than close-ended questions such as, “How long have you been there?” or “Do you like your job?”
If others join us, I smile and acknowledge them without interrupting the speaker. When there’s a break, I introduce the other person first, then myself, and that produces the new introductions. I imagine that I’m the hostess of every event and that it’s my job to make everyone in the room feel welcome. Guess what happens to my own nervousness? That’s right—it’s gone!
There’s a quote by author Byron Katie that I keep in mind. “When I walk into a room, I know that everyone in it loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet.” Imagine how differently you would act if you knew that everyone in the room already loved or admired you!
So at your next event, sincerely work the room and be the most interested person there.
To my readers: Share a story about a success you had at a business event.
