This is the time of year I call the bleak midwinter.
All the lights and brightness of Christmas are packed up and stored away. Outside, the trees stand tall and bare, swaying in the wind. The flowering shrubs are stark naked. Bulbs will wait another month before poking their faces up through the soil.
I realize my readers aren’t all from the mid-Atlantic region. So those of you in milder climates will need to use your imagination here!
In Virginia so far this winter we’ve had just a couple of instances of a smattering of snow; there wasn’t even enough for the dog to dash through. Snow at least would brighten the yard and make the tree limbs dazzle. Bleak midwinter, indeed.
And yet I am content in finding ways to embrace this season.
Since I live on a mountain top, my house is surrounded on all sides by trees. This time of leafless oak, poplar, and maple is the only season when I can see an expanse of mountains in the distance. So my best and longest views are happening right now.
And since winter solstice occurred on December 21st, each daylight is progressively lasting a little longer. Winter solstice is the time that the Northern Hemisphere is tilted the farthest away from the sun. So my husband and I are no longer eating dinner while total darkness surrounds us. Instead, as in the Bonnie Raitt song, dinner is served during the dimming of the day.
I used to wish away both the cold blast of winter and the high humidity/baking heat of the summer. But looking for the unique and positive aspects of each season, I now relish each change.
And it’s the same with seasons of life. I figure I have another 35 years or so to enjoy this mortal existence. As I did with winter and summer, I used to dread the thought of getting older.
But now that I’m on the threshold of the last third of my life, I see this season as both a time of fulfillment and a time of realizing my potential.
There’s more time to connect with family and friends. Projects left on the back burner for years have been completed or are the schedule for 2017. I teach and write—two passions of the soul for which there never seemed to be any time to begin.
I am not one for regrets. But in looking back over my working career, I see where I could have made some time for all the above. That I did not cannot be changed. I can only be certain to live my life as fully as possible today and every day forward.
Arianna Huffington’s book Thrive makes this point: Recall the last funeral you attended. It’s likely that you did NOT hear anything like the following in the eulogy: During her performance reviews, my mom was recognized for greatly surpassing company expectations for the past five years. OR My dad was so devoted to his company’s leveraged buyout that he missed every single dance recital the year I was seven.
So my advice is to write your own eulogy NOW. Think what you would want to be said about you, hopefully decades from now. Then start living your life today in a way that all those amazing aspects will be true.
Embrace the season, whichever one you’re in.
To my readers: Share just ONE aspect of your future eulogy with us and why it’s important to you to be remembered that way.
A funny part of my eulogy might include the fact that I have told my children and grandchildren to please share all the videos and pictures that I have taken though the years. Of course, they won’t realize what a task this will be until I am gone. I have made many DVD’s from the old VHS tapes that I had. One day I gave my granddaughter, Morgan, one of the DVD’s to take home. When she gave it to her mother, she said, “Here, mom, put this away – this is our life.” And so I hope they will someday realize and appreciate that is what I tried to capture through the years – their births, their first steps, their birthday parties, their school events, their sporting events, their numerous graduations, and on and on. And they will remember that I was there for all of it. How lucky am I?
Well the good news is that we don’t need to wait until you’re no longer on God’s earth to realize and appreciate all of the events you have captured for so many people, not just your own immediate family. This is a whole-hearted THANK YOU for being present in our lives and for all the special memories you have preserved for my family.