“A circular rainbow”…Photo by Blue Mountains Nature Photography. Used with permission.

The group discussion was on a paradigm-shifting topic. While I enjoy being challenged to think outside the perimeter of my entrenched attitudes and thoughts, this particular idea was causing me some distress.

When the facilitator asked the group for feedback, I said, “I’m disturbed.” After the group enjoyed a friendly laugh (assuming I was kidding), I admitted that I was serious. The analogy I gave was this:

Many years ago someone (I don’t know who) televised what felt like a long public service announcement. It demonstrated how easily we can be swayed to think differently on a long-held attitude or belief. Part of the program dealt with children and the American flag. It went something like this:

The scene opened with elementary school children and their elderly grey-haired teacher reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Suddenly a group of men came in and led away the teacher. The replacement teacher was a young, pretty blond. She acted as if she had no idea what the children were doing and engaged the children in conversation with questions such as: Why do you say this pledge? What is so special about the flag?

Pretending to accept and agree with their explanation, she said, “Well, if the flag is so special, let’s take it down and cut it up so we can each have a small piece of it!” And so they did, quite happily.

Ending the story, I told the group, “That’s how I feel right now—as though my understanding of how I think about this has been cut up into pieces.”

The group took in my story thoughtfully. Then the facilitator said, “Instead of cutting the flag into pieces, let’s take it down and move it to the front so we can all see it better.”

Someone else said, “Or let’s move it into the center of our circle so we can all be closer to it.”

A third person contributed, “Let’s wrap it around you to comfort you.”

The final comment was, “Or even if it had been cut into pieces, we could sew it back together.”

What meaningful responses from a group of casual friends!  One could imagine the answers as coming from life-long friends who know, love, and understand me.

It would have been easier for me to have kept silent. Many of us shy away from admitting what we perceive as a personal failure or from asking for help, even when we really need it. It can be scary.

But it’s so worth the risk.