Here’s a homework assignment for my public speaking students: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?  I encourage them to think deeply on the question, and there are some restrictions:  It can’t be “You’re so beautiful/handsome” or be associated in any way with physical attractiveness. The compliment should be one that really holds some significance for you; it may be something that truly touched your soul.

Sometimes I’ll ask that question in general conversation. My husband and I once took a train trip from Chicago to San Francisco. Being seated for meals with various new people each day gave me the opportunity to ask my question of strangers.

A young man named Oakley on his way to California smiled and replied, “In a letter of recommendation, a professor wrote that I was the best Master Student the University of Utah had ever produced.”

Cab, a fiftyish man, said he had been an actor for thirty years. In one play, he played lead as an unsympathetic character. (I’ll admit I had to look up that phrase since “unsympathetic character” has a meaning different than a person who doesn’t display sympathy.  It means basically that the character is by nature unengaging.) After the play an audience member sought out Cab and said, “You’re very brave. You didn’t alter the character a bit to make him charming or even nice.”

See the bounty you can reap by talking to strangers?

When I asked Crystal McKinsey, founder of McKinsey Development and developer of my website, for her favorite compliment, her face lit up. She shared that someone had told her, “Crystal, it seems as though people come to you for help when a job appears impossible.”

Sincere, out-of-the ordinary compliments are wonderful gifts. Why is it that we often think nice thoughts about others but don’t say them? Consider how much better they are when shared out loud!

That being said, one of my personal favorite compliments did not produce a single sound. I had been conducting a “train the trainers” session for incoming Sunday School teachers. We use the curriculum Godly Play where stories are told using simple props. The teacher focuses only on the story and does not look at the students during the telling. I had just finished teaching the Parable of the Good Shepherd which is about the shepherd who loves his sheep, knows each one by name, and cares so deeply for them, that he leaves the 99 sheep safe in the fold to go look everywhere, including the dark dangerous places, for the lost sheep.  When found, he’s carried safely home. It’s a beautiful story. When I was done and looked up at the adult students to begin asking the “I wonder…” questions, I saw that a young mom had been so moved by the story that silent tears were streaming down her face.  I felt truly blessed that I had been able to reach someone on that emotional level. Those tears were better than any “Great job!” compliment I have ever received.

To my readers:  Of course you know what I’m going to ask!  So what’s the best compliment you have ever received?